The New Age By Old Me
The first person that I ever tried to beat up was Joey Bradey. I plowed into him in the hallway of my grandma and grandpa Goodys tailor shop, because he had just told me that I couldn't be a tug boat captain when I grew up because I was a girl. And girls couldn't be tug boat captains. Every muscle in my 6 year old body screamed into action when he started to taunt me. I jumped on him and threw him down the three or so stairs in the cool dark hall way, then started trying to hit his jeering mouth. He struggled out from under my skinny body and ran home crying for his mother. She marched him back to the shop, and my grandma made me apologize to him and promise I wouldn't ever try to beat him up again. Worst of all, she told me after Joey and his mother left, that he was right, girls didn't grow up to be tug boat captains.
She told me I could be a teacher, or a nurse, or a Mommy, but I could never grow up and be a sailor. That was in 1942, and I'll bet there is at least one woman in the world besides Tug Boat Annie, my fictional hero then, who became a real live tug boat captain, since that time. But they all were right, I never became a tug boat captain. I did become a Mommy and a teacher. Both roles that I never really thought were mine to be when I was just making my life plans at 6 years old.
When Joey and his mother and my grandma all introduced me to the reality of what a girl could become when she grew up, in 1942, I instantly had the flash that I now had no idea who I would be when I grew up and maybe I would solve it all by never growing up anyway, and that would show them all. That in fact, may be the starting point for my current set of problems. The mother of 5 grown children, the grandmother of 6 growing grandchildren, and domestic partner of a 61 year old woman, Wonder Woman, and still not having a handle on who I am, and what I'm ever going to be when I grow up.
Oh, I've accomplished a lot in my day. I am a college graduate with an Advanced Degree. I have been the life coach for all manner of brilliant people, including Miz Bohemia, who has got me started on this Blogging thing. But, truth to tell, I still feel unfinished. I still feel like I'm preparing myself for my ultimate goal, and that goal still remains illusive.
Maybe, I am now thinking that is really what life is about, illusions first, settling on them and then developing a set of delusions that fulfill the original illusions. If Joey, had never intervened would I in fact, now be a retired pipe smoking sea salt of an old tug boat captain.
The thing that could be rewarding about life is once you're developing a particular role, the options hardly need to pipe up at all. That is if you're personally, deaf, dumb and blind, and have a support team that gives you tacit agreement, they won't pipe up at all. Perhaps the biggest contribution that various reality shows on TV have made is to give us the possibility of eaves dropping on the delusions of many on the way to becoming the 'star' that they always meant to be in their imaginations. My mother used to say, "The hunch back can't see their own hump". Funny she should say that, but that's another story.
So here I am, almost 70 years old. My early birthday present from Wonder Woman, is an adult sized tricycle. The hills of San Francisco, where I live, are daunting for riding even on the sidewalks and even with 3 speeds. So I coast when I'm lucky, and push a lot, especially on the way home, since I live at the top of a hill. My trike rides start and finish sort of like the ride that life can present. Coasting some, and pushing a lot. Can't have one without the other, not if I'm going to get out my front door, and go any place different.
She told me I could be a teacher, or a nurse, or a Mommy, but I could never grow up and be a sailor. That was in 1942, and I'll bet there is at least one woman in the world besides Tug Boat Annie, my fictional hero then, who became a real live tug boat captain, since that time. But they all were right, I never became a tug boat captain. I did become a Mommy and a teacher. Both roles that I never really thought were mine to be when I was just making my life plans at 6 years old.
When Joey and his mother and my grandma all introduced me to the reality of what a girl could become when she grew up, in 1942, I instantly had the flash that I now had no idea who I would be when I grew up and maybe I would solve it all by never growing up anyway, and that would show them all. That in fact, may be the starting point for my current set of problems. The mother of 5 grown children, the grandmother of 6 growing grandchildren, and domestic partner of a 61 year old woman, Wonder Woman, and still not having a handle on who I am, and what I'm ever going to be when I grow up.
Oh, I've accomplished a lot in my day. I am a college graduate with an Advanced Degree. I have been the life coach for all manner of brilliant people, including Miz Bohemia, who has got me started on this Blogging thing. But, truth to tell, I still feel unfinished. I still feel like I'm preparing myself for my ultimate goal, and that goal still remains illusive.
Maybe, I am now thinking that is really what life is about, illusions first, settling on them and then developing a set of delusions that fulfill the original illusions. If Joey, had never intervened would I in fact, now be a retired pipe smoking sea salt of an old tug boat captain.
The thing that could be rewarding about life is once you're developing a particular role, the options hardly need to pipe up at all. That is if you're personally, deaf, dumb and blind, and have a support team that gives you tacit agreement, they won't pipe up at all. Perhaps the biggest contribution that various reality shows on TV have made is to give us the possibility of eaves dropping on the delusions of many on the way to becoming the 'star' that they always meant to be in their imaginations. My mother used to say, "The hunch back can't see their own hump". Funny she should say that, but that's another story.
So here I am, almost 70 years old. My early birthday present from Wonder Woman, is an adult sized tricycle. The hills of San Francisco, where I live, are daunting for riding even on the sidewalks and even with 3 speeds. So I coast when I'm lucky, and push a lot, especially on the way home, since I live at the top of a hill. My trike rides start and finish sort of like the ride that life can present. Coasting some, and pushing a lot. Can't have one without the other, not if I'm going to get out my front door, and go any place different.
19 Comments:
The blogosphere is all the richer for having someone as amazing as you join in. Your voice is one of the most valuable I know and for it not to be heard...
I am ecstatic that you have joined in on the blogging... I look forward to reading you Mama E and knowing you all the better and for once hearing mostly your stories!
What a beautiful, wise and strong way to start your journey here as Mama E!
I must say you were quite the wise 6-year-old in a world of misguided adults! Thank you for the sweet mention and thank you and Wonder Woman for each of you!
This once wounded bird flies high thanks to you and there is not a second that goes by that I do not remember that! I love you both very much!
Miz B...
Hey! You are my first blog visit! Ever. I really like it and I will be back. I will probably even visit some other blog spots as well. As always, Mama E is opening doors and pathways to wisdom. Love you, PG
oh why are you San Fransiscans so damn cool? I mean, really. It must have something to do with Atlantis or something.
Hope you don't mind me hanging around a bit, o' Mama of the Electric variety.
Ziggy! (or the alien gaylord as someone else referred to me...)
MizBohemia sent me, I am glad she did. I am looking forward to much enlightening reading here.
I am 63 and like you still feeling unfinished....perhaps that is as it is meant to be....how else would we go on, on this journey called life.
I am flatered that you have me listed on Mama's Friends:)
Here, oh yeah-you guessed it- via Miz B. You just have to follow her suggestions! Glad I did and welcome to the world of blogging!
Also visiting through Miz Bohemia though it seems you have already visited me. Say hi sometime. Don't be shy!:)
Hi Mama, I'm dropping in from Miz B's place. Welcome to the blogosphere. I'm glad you meet you :-)
I love this! A tug boat captain and a trike on the really steep hills in San Francisco! I love it! Welcome! ;)
the fact that you are responsible for helping the magnificent Miz BoheMia "find" herself tells me what a special and insightful woman you are.
the other day i met a young woman--barely in her 40's--who asked me what was so great about growing "older" (i'm 53). i told her the best part was the fact that you stopped worrying so much about how old you are, and you sure as hell stopped looking over your shoulder to see what other people might be "thinking" about you. she sighed and said "that's what everyone tells me... but shouldn't there be more?" and i said "there's as much or as little as you want there to be."
you certainly reinforce that concept, in a beautiful and powerful way. i can see why Miz B was able to draw strength from you... and how nicely you've helped her set off on a journey that will only continue to get better and better with each passing day....
and, how lovely for you to be celebrating your own journey--after all, that's what life is all about, right? so i'm ever so glad to know you're coasting down one hill on that trike of yours, and pushing up the next when ya have to... 'cuz as far as i can tell, you are a wonderful work in progress! you go girl!
congratulations on this new adventure... can't wait to read more! : D
Sweet.
Nice to meet you.
I came by way of Mizzy Bohem and I will be back.
You sound like a fascinating individual and there is alway room in the world for fascinating people because ost people are so
boring.
Oh, you can transfer comment and whole posts from blogger to wordpress but I don't think you can transefer comments from blogger to another blogger account at least not yet but I may be wrong. All my posts and comments at least most of them were transferred to my wordpress blog. I had a coder do mine though but I host it myself. I think on the free wordpress the transefer works easily justbyt pressing a button. ( Mizzy B had asked this question for you over at Pia's site).
Another friend of Miz B's coming by to say hello and nice to meet you. I think a woman tug boat captain on a trike is long overdue and Joey had it coming.
Miz B said "Visit" and I said "okay" (to my computer) and I'm glad I did! Can't wait to read more. Always nice to meet the woman who helped out Miz B.
I agree...Joey had it coming. k'pow. (punches fist in the air) Always happy to meet someone with grr.
Happy blogging!
I very much enjoyed your first post. Here in Hamburg they have Barkasse excursions on the Elbe - which I took once, with a female captain.
My prediction is you will become the matriarch of the blogosphere.
Hi--truly enjoyed your first post
Have heard about you often from MizB--and have been wanting to meet you so to speak
Believe that utlimate goals remain illusive for a reason, but have no idea what that reason is
Though my middling goal remains illusive and shouldn't.
Think that you're very lucky to begin blogging with a built in blogging family--especially this one, but I'm a bit biased
I stumbled on to Miz B and found you,and I am so glad I did! Living in Europe, raising an American family I am always searching for a voice of sanity...d it is nice to know that there is someone outhere blogging not because they are sarcastic or cynical, but because they have something to say. Your post spoke to me and I look forward to more of your wisdom!
Happy Mother's Day to the most amazing mama I know! Not only are you a great mother to your children, but the same thing goes for you and Wonder Woman with regards to all us surrogate kids you have nursed back to health and given so much love and nurturing to!
I thought of writing you an email but figured it would be more fun to pop in here and even out the number of comments to 20!
I loved talking to you yesterday and forgive me for having had to rush off! Lil' M started to act up and Loverboy had literally his hands in the soil and could not be of much help! Next time I call I will plan it better! But it was great to hear your voice and here's to a fab day for my two favorite mamas!
Besos!
Miz B...
Good heavens - did you say almost 70? I'll be a mere 50 this year, and you are a wonderful inspiration of writing and of life. You have the most interesting blog I've seen around - and I love reading your reminisces. I live across the bay in Walnut Creek, and adore visiting the City. Found you through my Icelandic artist friend Mo'a, whose talent can not be overstated!! Keep up the grand writing - it is so refreshing.
By the way,
"a pipe smoking sea salt of an old tug boat captain"
sounds fascinating... it would have been absolutely fabulous too.
"...still not having a handle on who I am, and what I'm ever going to be when I grow up..."
May you never grow up, my dear. And may you know who you are while always wondering about what else you might become.
Love to you.
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